I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
