Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize