Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
