I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
