Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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