Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
