I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize