I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
