I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
