if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
