How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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