D3 body, D1 cock
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
