I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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