We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
