Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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