I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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