I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
