Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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