and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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