you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
