Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
