Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
