Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The Olympian is in my bed
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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