Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
