PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
