A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
