In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
