Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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