I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
