she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
