Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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