So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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