At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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