nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
