Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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