I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
