you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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