we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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