hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
