tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
