the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
