I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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