Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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