I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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