I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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