Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
