wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
