She's JV to your varsity
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
