Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize