Me too!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
