Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I believe in your delicious
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
