is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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