dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
