i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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