oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
