I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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