Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
