I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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