were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
