He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
