does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart