You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize