ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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