why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
