How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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