You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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